Mietzke's POST Holden Adventure

There are so many parts to saying goodbye that I had forgotten about; having spent 18 months here at Holden immersed in the village Rhythm and seeing the same faces day in and day out, I have gained a feel for the day, the week, and the people, that I could not get anywhere else.
Our movement through the week was based on the cycle of services.
It is Thursday’s which means vespers at the tables, Friday prayer on the cross, Saturday a sung service usually Holden Evening prayer…Sunday Morning Matins, Sunday evening Eucharist…I have gauged my days less by hours and more by what we are having for dinner or by the services and the ringing of the bell.
Our weeks at Holden revolve around relationship and I have gotten to know this group of people really well. I can gauge people’s moods from across the room, and I have gotten to observe and take in little quirky habits. This person tilts their head when they laugh, that one clears there throat when their nervous, another emphasizes nearly everything with wild arm movements when they talk, so and so bobs there head when they are thinking really hard, and I can always find Trevor by his wonderful heartfelt laugh…
In saying goodbye I am moving away from the subtle of everyday life that have caused me to fall in love with this village and every wonderful person in it.
When you live at Holden the Rhythm is so strong that your last week here is marked by “this is my last time eating Paul’s Salmon, or Kale, or Holden bread. This is my last morning service, my last chance to sing for prayer on the cross, and it is filled with lasts for work and home life as well. Not that we will never come back for Holden is in us now, but it will pass in the capacity that it has been home and community for us at this point in our lives.
The thing that has struck me as we venture out is how amazingly fortunate we are to have built friendships and to have been surrounded daily by song and prayer; To have eaten at a table with people from all different walks of life on a daily basis. We have been engaged in community life, challenged personally and professionally to grow in more ways than I can count.
I have watched my children held and nurtured by community members and was amazed by the support and help that we received when Dave broke his leg.
I experienced the effects of nature in a daily, weekly monthly and seasonal rhythm that has brought God and Mystery to the forefront of my mind constantly.
Being at Holden I grew as a mother, a wife, an artist, a friend, and a leader. Here I grappled with my insecurities and moved through deep places of fear and anxiety. Spiritually, I made peace with, let go of some judgments, and gained compassion for Christians. The village life is living breathing liturgy moving us through the year in a way that opened me to deeper meanings behind what I previously thought of as barriers, and I began to see the life of Jesus in a new way. Holden offered me the space in which to question, grapple and come to terms with my past relationship to God and helped to foster a safe space in which to continue my journey into the unknown, rebuilding and reconciling within myself my relationship with God. I have loved being a part of a village that focuses on and relies upon grace as a central daily theme, and lives it out in relationship with those around us. The focus on loving one another and living in active compassion towards people from all walks of life gave me a sense of hope.
Holden has been a blessing for my marriage and my family. We have gotten so much good time together in the village and we are all closer because of it. One of my favorite things about the vespers services has been that time together with my family, just taking the time to sit with each other each night. Generally each one of the girls would sit on one of our laps or hold our hands through the service, and almost every night as I set up Nyrie Dave or Jordyn would come to help, or just be with me as I straightened chairs and lit candles. I appreciated being together in those spaces of preparation.
Nyrie and I really loved that time together. She called herself the worship assistants apprentice and would help out preparing for the service, light candles, put out books, ring the bell, and sometimes even dressed up like me. We fell in love with the Rhythm of the day, and the joining together that brought the day to a close.
I am so grateful for what we have experienced here. Holden has been an education of the mind, body, and spirit. Full of challenges and daily grace!